You want a happier and more content life. But what is contentment?
In 2015, I decided my word for the year – my theme, if you will – was contentment. But what does that really mean?
According to Merriam-Webster:
contentment
noun con·tent·ment \kən-ˈtent-mənt\
: the state of being happy and satisfied : the state of being content
content
adjective con·tent \kən-ˈtent\
: pleased and satisfied : not needing more
And there it is. Not needing more. Being pleased and satisfied.
To me, contentment is about being at peace with where you are; not needing more in order to be happy; and being grateful for the wonderful pieces of your life (and for the hard lessons).
To me, contentment is not about not wanting more. Simply not needing more. And I think that is an important distinction.
A common struggle people have with feeling content is that they have an internal battle with wanting to feel content but knowing that deep down they also want something more or different than what they currently have. Maybe it is a better job, or a bigger house, or simply a house in a better neighborhood. Or maybe they wish they could afford a more reliable vehicle or to send their children to summer camp.
Wanting those things does not make a person discontent. It makes a person human. It is when the desire for those things rules your happiness that it turns into discontentment. When you can say, “I would like to have a more reliable car, but I am so grateful for the car we do have.”; when you can still be happy while owning your current car, you are practicing contentment.
What contentment isn’t.
So let’s talk about a few things contentment isn’t.
I’ve read a few articles about contentment that shed a negative light on the idea. This is usually in the context of business or professional growth, but I think it all applies to any aspect of life.
Some folks seem to believe that being content means you no longer have the drive to continually grow and improve. Here are a few words I’ve seen that describe what some people think contentment means.
Complacency
Complacency is a feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better.
Contentment is not complacency. When you are complacent, you stop trying to make things better. When you are content, you don’t need things to be better in order to be happy, but you are still willing to strive for better.
Settling
Contentment is not settling. Contentment does not mean you are settling for less than you should or could have. It doesn’t mean you accept anything that is lower than your expectations. Contentment simply means you don’t allow results that are lower than your expectations to make you unhappy.
Ambition (lack of)
Being content does not mean you stop being ambitious (and ambition does not have to be a bad thing).
People who strive to author a New York Times best seller are ambitious. People who strive to travel around the country or around the world speaking to large audiences about their area of expertise are ambitious. People who wish to be the CEO of a large firm are ambitious.
But that doesn’t mean they are discontent. It doesn’t mean they are unhappy while working toward their goals. People who are content, appreciate – even enjoy – the journey.
And one last thing – contentment is not a destination. It is an attitude; a way of life. That is why we talk about ‘practicing contentment’. It takes effort every single day. The longer you practice, the easier it becomes. But you never stop trying.
Jessica [Havok] says
Contentment is a lovely place to be – because it means that things are going quite alright. Not perfect, and of course there are things that can improve, but nothing is flat-out-wrong. I feel contentment is mostly a headspace to be in. It can be difficult to hold on to, of course, but being able to remember things are actually quite decent, and you have these places to improve on, and have the capacity (in some way or another) to work towards that. Contentment isn’t stagnant, nor should it be. I think a lot of us forget that (I do, far too often!).
Laura says
I think it is so important to remember that things don’t have to be perfect in order to be content (or practice contentment). Things will never be perfect!
Brittany @ Equipping Godly Women says
Great explanation of the distinction! I’m very happy with my life now, but that doesn’t mean I want to stay here forever.
Laura says
Exactly, Brittany. I feel the same way. Thanks for stopping by!
Lea says
Just found your post searching on Pinterest. Content/contentment is my word for 2016. I love what you said. I’ve read several things that say being content is standing still and I disagree. I want to be content with what I’m given – to be happy and satisfied (might be a case of that word doesn’t mean what you think it means). I love your post and am going to quote it in my “content” journal. Thanks for writing about it.
Laura says
I’m so glad it resonated with you, Lea! Good luck with your Word of the Year!